BALI HOPE 2022Wednesday 25th May
I am terrified. I’m doubtful, I’m fearful & I am so incredibly excited.
As many of you may know - in the midst of a load of motivation & optimism after starting running for What a Sesh in 2019 & running a full marathon in the same year, I put my name down to run this 84km overnight ultramarathon to raise money for Bali Children Foundation. BUT as covid hit the world - the event was postponed.
From then to now - my love & ability to run has completely decreased. It has been over 8 months now since I called it quits on working with a coach & consistently running. I’ve always felt like I had a strong mind but after suffering every morning with intense anxiety to run & TO THEN still have this feeling throughout every run - I could no longer do it. I had to take a break.
Running more than 1km currently terrifies me. Moving my legs through it feels challenging & getting through it mentally feels impossible. I am at a stage where I have never been before - a heartbreaking stage where I truly, wholeheartedly feel like I cannot do the things I want to do. I don’t feel capable, I don’t feel confident & I definitely don’t feel optimistic.
& that is why I just re-registered to take part in this ultramarathon in just 4 months.
Currently - I am struggling with running 2km consistently & no part of me feels like I can actually do this, but I’m tired of feeling this way. There is a part of my mind that knows that nothing is impossible & that if I want my life to change, I have to do something different, something I never thought I could.
This run might take me 20+ hours, I might walk most of it, heck - I might crawl most of it, but I’m going to start it & I am going to cross that finish line - for myself, for my coach who recently passed away & for the wonderful yet disadvantaged children in Bali who deserve the world.
I am eager to push my mental & physical limits and to prove how powerful the mind really is. I am eager to re-define my impossible.
To anyone who donated to my page a couple years ago - it is still there, so thank you! & for anyone wanting to show support through a donation, it would be so appreciated.
To anyone who runs/has knowledge about running or anything that can help me out (physically or mentally) - please reach out, I’d appreciate any support & guidance along this journey.
*The temporary exhaustion & pain I will feel over the 84km, will be nothing compared to the permanent joy that I will bring to a number of children & families in Bali*
Let’s get running (& stretching – of course coach)Share